… the voices in my head told me to face the future …
The story of this mix dates probably back to 2014, but I’ve lost track. Having recorded my previous studio mix I was wondering where I should take things next. The obvious next step from a DJ perspective would have been to record something harder, to showcase the side of my selection that hadn’t received its spotlight. Maybe get a booking or two off the back of that. Then I decided to do the exact opposite! I picked the side of drum & bass that most promoters steer clear of, but that resonates with me the most – Autonomic.
… the voices in my head told me I’m not good enough …
Can’t count how many times I’ve scrapped the tracklist ideas I’ve had for this mix whenever I’d acquire a track that I felt NEEDED to be featured. Those tracks always ended up changing the direction of the set. Or I’d play back the combos I already had picked and realised they weren’t all that good. That led me to believe *I* wasn’t that good if I can’t piece a mix together (and believe me, that shit really goes to my head, I’m an ambitious motherfucker). I would give up working on it for a week or even a few months. As time flew by, I had even more tunes that in turn kept changing my initial concept… well, you get the picture!
… the voices in my head told me to stop looking back …
Until one day I finally decided to just say: “fuck it!” and get that final draft of the tracklist. Still took me a good few evenings piecing the idea together and I had no clue whether it would flow as well as I would imagine it to be until I’d actually have a go and actually record it. But then another thing dawned on me. I’ve put over 131 tracks on the list (137 if you count the teased ones) and the entire thing would take 5 hours or more to mix. Well, shit.
… the voices in my head told me to stay true to myself …
That raised a whole new level of self-doubt. Who would even listen to a mix that long? We live in an age of an ever shortening attention span, people stop listening to mixes in favour of single tracks (hell, I myself find myself listening to less sets than I used to because “I don’t have time”). But then I remembered why I wanted to record this in the first place – for myself and myself only. And if I would end up the only listener who would take the time to travel the entire journey and take the story in from beginning til end, then so be it. Thankfully some of your responses to my doubts on FB encouraged me as well. If you were part of those few voices outside my head, thank you. A special shout-out goes to my man CrissNSA of Dungeon Beats for letting me use his 3-deck setup. That definitely helped me push myself even further, as well as shorten it to 4,5h.
… the voices in my head told me it’s time to let go …
And that’s exactly what I did, finally. I recorded this mix over a year ago and I still wasn’t sure if it’s good enough. I had a couple of people test-listen to it for feedback, but most of all I needed to have that one final internal dialogue (monologue?) to make the final decision and leap of faith. It may be “just a mix” to some, but by the time I scrapped yet another tracklist and started putting together the final one, the intent of this being my opus magnum was very strong.
Did I succeed? Time will tell. But it’s also time to stop being so precious about it.
TL;DR – This is a mix that took me a good 4-5 years to put together, for all the reasons mentioned above and more. There’s more to it than just Autonomic of course, it bridges the gap between that side of DNB as well as its roots and other bits and pieces that just fit the story well. I hope you take your time to listen to it in one sitting, one day. The music deserves it.
(tracklist: https://ift.tt/3JpRcyh )
((artwork created by EXID of Dungeon Beats / Lucysfear, all rights reserved))